28 July 2010, 4:58 pm
Hi everyone... Recently, my girlfriend, she said she needed time alone... to get her thoughts straight.. She said she saw her ex the other day, and it got to her... "i can't talk to you with such intense feelings for her".... (yes we're lesbian).. and it broke my heart, not only that she had feelings for someone else, but someone who tore her world apart... who broke her to pieces..... When we got together, i asked her if there were a shadow of doubt in the way she felt for her ex... she said, none, not at all.. It's been two days since we've spoken... But I Need to fill you guys in on something, which is the main focus of my problems. She does believe in the phrase, "bros before hoes".... -_- She works 8 hour days, and gets off at 11 pm.... we talk if i'm lucky, if she hasn't given me some absurd reason as to why she can't call or talk to me. she's told me before, that she has a life... (we're long distance) She said that, because she feels guilty that she doesn't give me enough attention. and when i bring it up, she jumps down my throat... I have doubts about her absurd excuses... here are a few- A cop pulled me over because i had too many stuffed animals in my front seat (which she said the cop said was distracting and suspicious) I was like (being extremely sarcastic and doubtful without trying to seem that way) "was he afraid you were running some illegal underground girl scout cookie selling?" she thought i was joking... i was but... I was upset. She says she works later than usual at Boomland (firework store thing) The other night she claimed to have fell asleep in the shower... I analyzed her statement... (since when does anyone fall asleep standing up for 10 hours with the shower pouring on them?) ..... she got extremely defensive... and that lead to her saying that she had feelings for someone else. I told her, one day she'll wake up and realize she lost a diamond, while she was too busy collecting stones... I've thought this to myself.... I'm not so hurt that she's lied, but knowing that i'm not good enough for the truth... I know she's lying to me... a lot...but I'm so gullible and in love with her, that.... i just don't want to tell her how i really feel about anything.. because i don't want to set her off. She's broken up with me once.... and my oh my... did it hurt me to the core... I haven't told her, but... it rose up a lot of my past.. I lit a cigarette (i dont smoke) and burned my arm... twice, until the cigarette was out... no twisting to get the pain over with... idk what i was thinking.... I have a staff infection now... and my arm... they said there's a possibility of amputation... the infection from the burn is horrible... My head is in knots.. I'm trying to come up with 200 bucks to make it to Missouri.. from texas.. i'm 17... please don't judge me... I'm 17 with a 47 year old mentality, i get a lot.. ;] But this girl has got me all clouded up.. i just need an outsiders opinion on the situation. because i know my feelings will get in the way of the truth... i'm willing to face the truth now... or what you guys think... i'll take every word of it in.. even if you are a basher, because i'm vulnerable now... and.... hurt.. so please.. tell me what you think...any advice? thank you for reading this far... i know it's easier to answer whether blue or green fits her new dress, so... thanks if you're sincere ;]... Read More »
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